Peace – Antidote for Violence & Abuse
If you want peace, talk to your enemies not to your friends.☕️
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
This childhood sing-song saying is only partially right. Violence and abuse, and the words that go with the action, alter the way our brain functions - and not for the better. The wonder is people who live with violence, abuse, and demeaning language can choose to behave and speak in supportive and productive ways that bring people together for peaceful and productive lives in a community that works for all. Working toward a life that works for everyone - not just some - is a basic definition of peace and an antidote for violence and abuse. What would a life that works for everyone look like?
First, we accept and follow the rules of civility.
Practicing civility is just that - practicing social behaviors, attitudes, and language for work as a collective of individuals. We extend the same courtesies to each person and expect reciprocal courtesies. Whatever process we use to identify and work on problem resolution, civility is the starting and sustaining element.
Second, we accept and follow the rules and intention of cooperation.
Practicing cooperation leads to collective goal setting and problem solving that allows a group to move toward agreements about the tasks at hand and the mutual work required to get tasks completed.
Third, we advance to collaboration.
Accepting the idea that cooperation works best with relatively easy problems and within structured situations, collaboration is generally employed when the problem to be solved is difficult and requires a large commitment of resources over a long timeframe. The process involves identifying the problem aspects to be addressed, identifying resources available, aligning problem statements, resources, and action items, and setting timeframes. Practicing collaboration means a coordinated effort employing individual skills and knowledge toward an identified goal through collective action.
Fourth step:
The 3rd Alternative identified by Stephen R. Covey as synergy in which we create a solution none of us had thought about. Practicing synergy requires accepting ideas as starting input, practicing creative and diverse thinking, challenging status quo frames of thinking, including emotions as valid factors, actively searching for the unexpected, finding new connections, and being open to creating beyond ego.
Preventing violence and abuse and dealing with its aftermath is a wicked problem…
…requiring all of us to believe it is desirable and possible and to commit to finding a solution not yet envisioned. Peace requires the synergy of everyone’s behavior and thoughts, so life works better for each one and everyone. Imagine what we all gain when we all contribute.
“Reality changes shape and meaning because of our activity. And it is constantly new. We are required to be there, as active participants. It can’t happen without us and nobody can do it for us.”
